Bad Dates

Q:

how to get rid of someone who won't take the hint

I'm quite fond of picking up guys off of Craigslist and having them come chill out with me at my apartment. I'm usually quite clear about my motives (whether or not it's a sexual hookup, etc), but sometimes, you'll get a guy who just got lucky with angles and he is not what you thought he'd be.

Now, I'm not one to be rude and tell him to leave straight out. I'm happy to chill with someone and get to know them, maybe there is something more there beyond my first impression. However, once you know it's not going anywhere, how do you politely tell them to leave?

I've had this problem a few times. I'll come up with excuses for them to leave, like, oh I need to work on this paper, or I have to call my mom soon. Honestly, sometimes I get desperate for excuses, especially if they don't get the hint. I don't know what my deal is, but I can't just come out and say, hey, this isn't my thing, let's call it a night.

Any tips?

Simone de Boudoir


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sexpert

sexpertover a year ago

Answer 1 of 3

My suggestion? If you can afford it - be...

My suggestion? If you can afford it - be mean. make them want to leave. If you are never going to see this person again, and if they do not have contact with your friends, be a bitch.

For me, this is coming from my own feelings where I've wanted guys to leave before where I feared for my safety. You may not fear for your safety, but if you really want a guy to leave, make him want to leave by being mean.

Or you could say that something you ate is disagreeing with you and you're going to have diarrhea. No one wants to stick around for that.

Again, try to be nice at first. It's nice to be liked, and it's nice not to make someone feel like crap, but if they don't get the hint, and you have to resort to being blunt or mean, then do it.

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HomeBoy

HomeBoyover a year ago

Answer 2 of 3

I think you gotta be blunt Simone. Just...

I think you gotta be blunt Simone. Just straight up tell them at a certain point. Of course you start off by giving the traditional hints but if it doesn't work then you definitely need to pick it up a notch.

Eventually you either just stop answering their calls or just ignore them. I think the easiest way is to just come out and bluntly say something. Avoiding calls and what not is a process. You have to worry about them not getting the point for a while and you have to keep dealing with them for a little while longer.

I say suck it up, and just come out and say it. You gave them a fair warning and they didn't pick up on it. Plus, it's only fair because now they know they should move on and stop wasting their time on you.

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2sweet4u

2sweet4uover a year ago

Answer 3 of 3

Well I've never did the craigslist thing...

Well I've never did the craigslist thing...or the online thing for that matter, but I have met guys before out at the bar, came back to my place, and realized that I didn't want to hang out with them anymore. I usually would start off by doing the same thing you did....

"Well I have to write a paper now..."
"I need to head over to my friends in a couple minutes"

If they don't get that hint then anything along the same lines probably isn't going to work either. At that point I would just get straight to the point...

"Hey I'm glad we got to hang out. You gotta get going though because I have to get up way early for (whatever bullshit you want to add here"

If the guy says something about trying to stay the night just let him know you aren't ready for that but you'll give him a call later in the week to hang out. Of course you don't have to hang out with him again but at least you get him out the door.

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