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My girlfirend doesn't want sex anymore... why ?
Hi,
I am in a relation with my girlfriend for 4 years and she doesn't want me anymore.
The first two years, we used to have sex a lot (once a day or every two days) but the more we stay together, the less she wants. We are now in her house with family where we never lived before and makes to things even more difficult for her to unlock her feelings, but even when we go out on a break she doesn't want.
She never been really interested about sex (for example she masturbated only 2 or 3 times in her life during we were separated for a long time and that is all, she never touches herself or never used a sex toy and doesn't want to.
I believe that when we do it, she enjoys but unfortunately it is to rare and our relationship suffers from it because I want her everyday.
Could anyone explain to me what is going one or is there anything I can do to make her like sex ?
Thank you
2sweet4u140 days ago
Answer 1 of 4
Find out what's on her mind, what makes her comfortable
I think you really need to talk to her about this. For starters, being in her parents house definitely is playing a role in all of this. I am never comfortable completely letting loose and having sex with my boyfriend while at my parents house. It feels weird and the last thing I want is them walking in on their daughter in some freaky deaky position.
I think you need to find out what makes her happy and comfortable. Even if she has a low sex drive, that doesn't mean you guys can't be happy and still satisfy each other. The only way you can solve this is by discussing each others wants and needs and understanding each others comfort levels.
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sexpert271 days ago
Answer 2 of 4
I agree that the first step is open comm...
I agree that the first step is open communication. There are so many reasons why she may not want to have sex, from being tired, to the family influence, to a lack of sex drive from medication/illness, to being focused on other things, to wanting to break up. Your approach to increase the amount of sex has to be tailored to the reason there was a decrease in sex.
Just remember when you bring this up, that there is no guilt tripping. Women tend not to like have sex when they feel guilted into it. No pouting, no crying, no anger. You just ask what has changed, and if there is anything that YOU can do for HER. Women are a lot more likely to have sex with someone who they feel supports them, and are interested in their emotional and mental health. Be supportive, no matter what.
I hope your sex life becomes satisfying for you both.
StillFiguringItOut322 days ago
Answer 3 of 4
I agree that it's normal for sex to slow...
I agree that it's normal for sex to slow down a bit as we get comfortable, and that we need to put a little effort into keeping the passion alive. But I wonder if that's the case here...
Lack of interest in sex can also be the result of a mismatch in sex drive, stress, relationship issues, personal history or views on sex, physical illness, or mental illness (such as depression, even if mild), etc., or some combination. For now I'll assume she's relatively healthy.
Talking about it is always a great place to start, one of curiosity about how she's feeling and what's happening in her life, It's not unreasonable to raise it from the concern that your sex life seems to have dwindled from what it once was, but be open to discussing other things that are going on in your lives right now which might be dampening her desires.
From that angle, you mention that you are both living with her family now. I'm not an expert in cultural differences, but she might be finding that restrictions on independence and privacy in this situation stressful. It might even be worth considering the circumstances surrounding that return home, completing school and not continuing to live on one's own, or returning home for financial reasons, for example, tend to be stressful.
Her lack of interest in sex may have nothing to do with sex, talk to her.
ilikethis322 days ago
Answer 4 of 4
What a rough situation for ya...sorry yo...
What a rough situation for ya...sorry you have to go through this, especially with someone you've been with for such a long time.
It's a tough thing to keep the passion alive for that long, at some point it will die out, so I think this could considered, to a certain extent, natural. Now it's your job to re-ignite that passion. Turn her on, push her buttons again, light that flame.
You could take a few different approaches. You could try talking to her about it and let her know that it's been bothering you. Getting things out in the open is always a good idea. You could also try to catch her off-guard next time you do have sex. Try something new thats exciting/erotic that will "jolt her system" a bit. Also, try to think back to when your first started having sex...what turned her on then? were there things that you she used to tell you she liked? And always try to make her feel sexy.
Hopefully some of that helped or atleast got you started off in the right direction : ) Good luck!
