First Date
Do you think it's appropriate for a man to ask a woman out via text?
We've been talking about this a lot on my blog and today I'm taking a poll. I'd love to hear from the leftos community. So far it seems like most of the guys think it's fine and most of the women think it's not. THAT could lead to lots of problems. http://www.sex-lies-dating.com/6005289
woman31106 days ago
Answer 1 of 8
I actually responded to that poll, and no, I don't think it's appropriate. There are certain things that differentiate friendships and romantic involvements and the text vs. call issue is one of them. Friends often will text me to see if I want to see a movie, go out for a meal, etc., but those are *friends*. I want a man to call me and ask me out! (Or, I'll call and ask him.)
I assume there is an age gap issue here. I'm 31, (creative name, eh?), and it clearly bothers me. A 22 year old may be perfectly fine with it. I wonder if the texters will 'grow up', or if this will be a societal change.
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MikkoKemppe124 days ago
Answer 2 of 8
Hi sex-lies-dating,
interesting poll. I think you should definitely make a follow up poll to find out whether women have turned down dates because men asked them out via text. I would be interested to find out the results.
I agree with the rest of the commentators in that I think it depends a lot about the context in which you use text messaging as a way of asking her out. In some context I think it is appropriate. But I am also aware how calling and personal interaction is usually more romantic and probably often leaves a better impression.
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RelaxIt125 days ago
Answer 3 of 8
If you already know the person and you've hung out before/gone on date before, then I assume the two people will be already communicating via text. In that case, while sending texts back and forth between each other, I think its acceptable to throw in a text during the conversation that says, "You want to grab some coffee?", or, "Let's go see that movie.".
However, to randomly text someone and ask them out is weird. Especially if you haven't already hung out or dated before.
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sex-lies-dating125 days ago
Answer 4 of 8
Just to let you all know how the polling is going so far - twice as many men than women think "texting is fine".
Hmm. Makes me wonder. I bet some of those guys have been turned down for dates by women who won't go out with men who ask via text.
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sexpert125 days ago
Answer 5 of 8
Texting is very casual, and so if you are asking someone out on a very casual date, where it is more a "get to know you" and "would we click" sort of date, then it's more appropriate. If you are already half in love with them, and have a long history with someone, then texting is not the way to go.
I do a lot of online dating, so a lot of first dates I've been on has been negotiated over e-mails and msn. A lot of people consider this to be less formal, but given the situation, and that all of our previous encounters have been through this method, it's okay. So like Albedo says, if you have already been texting a lot, it can just become natural to ask someone to coffee through texting.
Another thing to consider is the feelings of your partners. I have a friend who is extremely shy. She hates talking on the phone, and every time she talks via phone, she sounds pissed because she's uncomfortable. She does well over msn, but she's not always at her computer. So for her, given her own quirks, texting is actually a really good way to ask her out, because she can take time to think about it and answer without awkwardness. That being said, I wouldn't say 'I love you" for the first time over texting.
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wadekid13125 days ago
Answer 6 of 8
Despite the results you've been getting, I gotta say...the guy's who ask a girl out on a first date via text need a reality check (or need to grow a pair). Like 2sweet said, that is NOT the first impression you wanna give off. I think it's maybe OK to ask for 2nd, 3rd, 4th dates via text, although that's personally not my style. But definitely not the first.
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2sweet4u125 days ago
Answer 7 of 8
Ya, c'mon guys, grow up. Be a big boy and pick the phone up, call us, and ask us out over the phone. Don't send us an impersonal text message. Even if I do say yes to it, I'm already getting a somewhat negative first impression of you, and first impressions are a tough thing to break. Show us you're a man, not a chickenshit, lol.
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Albedo125 days ago
Answer 8 of 8
I have done it on multiple occasions and been asked out via text too. It is always more difficult to negotiate time and place via text so it is not exactly ideal.
That said, I had been having fairly substantial conversations, via texts, with these women already and asking them out grew naturally out of the conversation. I was also pretty sure of the answer before I asked.
As far as a stand alone text message asking someone out. I would find that impersonal and would try to avoid it.
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