StillFiguringItOut230 days ago

oh... and like shampoo, rinse and repeat as necessary

sexpert230 days ago

Okay, I'm going to quote my mom. this is scary. But my mom once explained to me that anger was an "executive emotion" (no idea where she got that terminology) which means that when you have it, you can't quash it. It will come out somehow, and it will affect you, but you can determine how it affects you. In my world, anger is a motivating emotion. It makes you want to DO something. Doing some physical or constructive, such as working out or cleaning the house is a nice healthy release of the pent up energy that comes with anger.

Being a guy doesn't mean that you're naturally bad at it. My current male partner has taught me a lot about dealing with anger and frustration, mostly because he's so laid back. His motto is "some people are just stupid". He reminds me that that is his motto whenever I get angry about stuff I can't change, or when someone does something so incredibly offensive that I'm half in awe of the stupidity, and on the other hand so angry that it happened. When he reminds me that this is his motto (and yet, he doesn't ever tell me to adopt it as my own) he is telling me that I need to choose my battles, and there are some that I need to leave, and save my energies for those that will be more productive.

Yeah. Tangent.

StillFiguringItOut229 days ago

Yes, the "being a guy" comment was a bit more tongue and cheek, anyhow...

Well executive has to do with control... so perhaps she's just saying it will control/influence your actions no matter how much you try to not let it... so it's better to accept being angry and find a healthy outlet for it (and if it motivates you to get something done, all the better!).

I was just more going on anger is OK, and that we just have to feel it and let it out (hopefully constructively) so that we can get through it. Once through it, all the feelings and stories underneath that were firing that anger will become obvious, and available for us to deal with... and when we are aware of them, and can face them, we can deal with them or accept them and let them go...

"Some people are just stupid" seems like a good way to let go of some really aggravating situation, especially if it isn't important (although it's also good to realize that most of our reactions, say more about how we feel about ourself, and the stories we tell ourselves... a much bigger tangent :-) )