The Ex
Partying with your Ex?!
So with new years coming up, everyone goes to these big parties...expensive tickets, open bar, maybe a celebrity appearance or two, etc, etc. All of my friends are, naturally, all going to the same party. My problem here is that so is my ex. I know she'll be there and the wounds are still kind've fresh. I can fore-see a really shitty night for me filled with dirty looks, drama, and just unnecessary tension on a night that should normally be a lot of fun. I don't want to have to watch my every move and not be able to let loose and have a good time. And although I've moved on from the relationship, I wouldn't want to see her with other guys either. Plus there's the whole issue of her friends who will undoubtedly be judging me as well if I'm talking/flirting with other girls.
The easy answer here is "well just go somewhere else", I get that. But it's new years and I want to spend it with my friends (plus I already bought a ticket, and I'm not about to throw away that kind've money). Any advice people?
krista25204 days ago
Answer 1 of 6
i would avoide her at all costs and do n...
i would avoide her at all costs and do not have anything to do with her. just be with ur friends and if u see her just make sure u dont make eye contact. have fun and try to let it go...make sure u dont get TOO drunk
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drifau212 days ago
Answer 2 of 6
Hi MC You mention that you have gotten o...
Hi MC
You mention that you have gotten over your ex yet you are worried about drama and dirty looks. If you were over her how would you feel when you were around her? How do you want to have your night turn out? Will you be able to go and have fun without your own inner drama? Will her feelings and those of her friends affect you? Can you go and then have a backup plan if things go sour?
++Drifa
The Relationship Coach
BritishGuy218 days ago
Answer 3 of 6
I've been in a similar situation. Never ...
I've been in a similar situation. Never really had an ugly break up to be honest I can talk down most situations and retain friendships with most of my ex's so I can't speak from that perspective but I think you need to just ignore that crap and enjoy yourself.
Just go out, talk to the ladies, charm them and get a few numbers as usual and don't necessarily ignore your ex if she wants to talk to you be a gentleman about it.
If she adopts a miserable attitude you just go about your business with a smile on your face.
See the thing is you are sitting here talking about how she may adopt a foul attitude towards you but how would you be any better if you did the same in response?
If she adopts a crappy attitude or her friends do ignore them. People only attack you so they can see you hurt. If you want to really get them back be oblivious to their attempts to do so.
scarlettewiththerope219 days ago
Answer 4 of 6
You just gotta acknowledge that this shi...
You just gotta acknowledge that this shit happens, it's natural for people to be angry after a break up, yeah it sucks, and try to keep moving :) Its immature for people to act out on it, and if they did I'd totally point that out, but you can either hide from the issue or get on with your life.
I've said it before... you just gotta stubborn through the awkwardness sometimes!
Serendipity219 days ago
Answer 5 of 6
This is the worst. I know exactly what ...
This is the worst. I know exactly what you are going through because I had similar situations with my ex. We dated in college and broke up in college. We had all the same friends for the most part and also went to the same places at night. I would always see him and he would purposely do things to make me pissed and jealous. Plus the friend factor is awful. If I was flirting with a guy at the bar, his friends would deliberately make me feel like a slut and often ruin my chances with the guy as well.
My situation was a little different because it wasn't a specific event I was going to but rather a constant thing I dealt with every weekend. For a specific event like NYE, I say screw it and just go and have fun. Like RelaxIt says, you need to just block everything out about her. Remind yourself exactly why you don't want to be the guy with her. Forget her friends. Let them spend their whole night trying to ruin yours. Ultimately they will have a shitty NYE and you'll end up having a great time.
RelaxIt219 days ago
Answer 6 of 6
What an all too familiar situation. I'm...
What an all too familiar situation. I'm sure the best of us can relate someway or another. Here is my advice...do what you would do if she wasn't there. There is no reason for your ex to prevent you from enjoying your life or being with your friends. I know it's an easier said than done type of thing but I think you have to make it a point in your mind. Just keep telling yourself throughout the night...she doesn't deserve to have an impact on my night. Talk to yourself and keep yourself focused. "I can do what I want tonight and there is no one that can keep me from that".
When you see her with other guys remind yourself that you wouldn't want to be in that guys position lol. You know what it's like to be there and you know you're having a better time and happier not having to be the guy with her all night. Tell yourself, "he can have that job of dealing with her tonight".
Constantly reminding yourself things like that should help build up an immunity. A "Fuck it" mentality. Ultimately the goal is to not let her affect your night what so ever and I think you mentally accomplish that.
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