Flirting
Flirt
I like this girl; super sweet, considerate, well-mannered all traits I highly value. I issue is that she is somewhat flirtatious. Now she recently came out of relationship and I have been staying at an arm's length to avoid an rebound complications until we recently made out . It's obvious we both like each other but the flirting is a big deal for me I cannot stand it. What is your folks opinion of this?
sexpert230 days ago
Answer 1 of 4
Some women are more flirty. Now, since s...
Some women are more flirty. Now, since she has made out with you, the flirting that she has done with you meant something.
Will she continue to (harmlessly?) flirt with other guys if she is in a serious relationship with you? Well, past behaviour tends to be the best predictor of future behaviour. When she was in a relationship with her previous bf, was she flirty with people then?
The best thing you can do is talk to her. See if she would be willing to try to curtail some of her flirting if she did go out with you. It is then your job to be reasonable and not freak out if she slips up every once in awhile.
If you feel that you can't be reasonable (by my definition, not necessarily yours) or you don't feel like she would be able to live up to your standards of how you think a girlfriend should act, then this might be an issue of compatibility.
I don't see a relationship working between someone who is very flirty, and likes being very flirty, and someone who is threatened by that. Someone has to give ground, and either she has to learn not to be flirty, or you have to learn to be more secure/change your standards.
Wow, that sounds a little harsh. It looks like you're 22, so you're both young, so take that into account. Sometimes the best things about relationships are the fact that they push us to challenge ourselves to be better people, to pull us out of our comfort zone, and to teach us about ourselves. Maybe both of you could treat a relationship together as one of those types of relationships, and you could learn new ways of compromising. Maybe?
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StillFiguringItOut230 days ago
Answer 2 of 4
It's hard to say, she might be flirtatio...
It's hard to say, she might be flirtatious as she's fresh out of a relationship and enjoying the freedom and attention. She might also be a fairly sexual person and like interacting with others that way. She could also be playful and light and what appears to be flirtatious and full of sexual intent, but it is her being friendly. I suppose she could also be a little insecure, and this gets her attention. I'm not assuming or judging any of these possibilities, they are neither right nor wrong, they just are.
If she's fresh out of a relationship, she might not be ready for a relationship - even if she likes you. It is possible that you taking her flirtations and projecting your own desires for something more serious onto her actions (ie - if she's flirting with you she must want a relationship). That's not saying she doesn't, it just might mean you are getting serious faster than she is...
So just enjoy being with her and see how it progresses. If she flirts less and you two get more serious, that's great. If she's still flirting with others, it might be just how she is, and if you are sensitive (or insecure) she might not be the right person for you...
but the best thing to do at that point (when you are more serious) is to ask her about it -- not confrontationally or judgmentally, but out of curiosity, what you see and how one might interpret it, that you are likely wrong about it, and what her thoughts/intent is. (then she can share, and you can decide if her behaviour works for you)
Of course if it's driving you nuts, ask her about it now... but keep it light... if you are way too serious way too quick and she's not ready for a relationship it might cut things short (which isn't a bad thing if you are looking for more than she is right now)
Thinkr148230 days ago
Answer 3 of 4
I know how you feel on this one. I was r...
I know how you feel on this one. I was recently with a girl who was flirtatious with other guys and it did some serious damage to our relationship. With us, she did it right from the very beginning when we first met and when we started dating and it created this image of her that was almost impossible to shake. That's my concern with your situation. It's hard to get rid of that image you have of her. Its gonna make you hyper sensitive to anything that could be considered flirtatious. It just causes problems. There's a reason she's doing it...most likely its because she's just really insecure about herself, or maybe that she's immature and has some growing up to do. Either way, she's probably not ready to be in a committed, healthy relationship right now.
MC423230 days ago
Answer 4 of 4
What do you mean the flirting is a big d...
What do you mean the flirting is a big deal? Do you mean you can' be with a girl who flirts with other guys? If that's what you mean then hopefully she won't flirt with other guys as the two of you hang out more and become more an item.
If you mean flirting with you...I don't see the problem. When you like someone you flirt with them. Why would you want her to stop that?
