Communication in Marriage
How important are weddings rings?
I know that in our society it seems like you MUST wear a wedding ring. I just feel like it's so stupid. I HATE wearing jewelry and I think rings are uncomfortable, ugly, and annoying. I wear mine because I feel like I have to. Plus my wife, my friends, and my family would all call me out if I didn't. A lot of them would probably think that I was trying to hide the fact that I'm married.
The other thing that is annoying is how the size of a woman's wedding ring is suppose to symbolize something important.
Do you think that this tradition is still important in todays society? How do you feel about the tradition? Do you think it's something we have to do if we are married?
Ask Eve243 days ago
Answer 1 of 9
Great question! Personally I think it's...
Great question! Personally I think it's a matter of preference. Lots of men (more than women) don't like to wear jewellery and as was pointed out earlier, depending on their job, ie working with machinery can't, for health and safety reasons. Wearing a wedding band is simply a symbol of commitment to the other person and it can reassure the other partner when they see them with it on. (He/she's "taken!")
Some find it mandatory for their partners to wear one (insecurities there) and others have enough trust between them for it not to bother them. It's all just preference.
~Eve~
Comments (2)
Report this
Report this
Albedo258 days ago
Answer 2 of 9
A wedding ring is a widely recognized sy...
A wedding ring is a widely recognized symbol. So is the stop sign and the christian cross. Just like other symbols it doesn't is not the only thing that indicates you are married. I am sure you will get comments if you and your wife chose to go against this social norm.
Personally a wedding ring is just another ring. I where multiple rings, though i do avoid wearing one on the 4th finger of my left hand. So I am observing the symbol through that action. All my rings have some meaning and a wedding band would be no different.
Another thought is that it takes time to get used to wearing a ring. I have no clue how long you have been wearing yours, but in my experience it takes me almost a month to get used to wearing a ring on a new finger. Having the right size is key. a ring that is too big bothers me as much as one that is too small (it is annoying to have it slipping off all the time and when you close your fist it runs into the finger on either side of it.)
BritishGuy259 days ago
Answer 3 of 9
Rings have always been about symbolism. ...
Rings have always been about symbolism.
Some time ago people that did great things were honored with rings from royalty and the like.
As rings became more common friends often wore one each in a pair.
The matrimonial ring was also quite symbolic because it was about showing the world that you were taken. A blacksmith beating a piece of copper into shape isn't the most beautiful sight but again it was all symbolic.
Nowadays there isn't as much symbolism attached to it as there is commercialism. It's been ruined by capitalism but at a time it was something of beauty.
sexpert259 days ago
Answer 4 of 9
I know that I want a ring, but part of t...
I know that I want a ring, but part of that is because it's pretty. I like pretty rings. I try to wear wedding-like rings on my fingers, and people assume I'm married. It would be nice to be able to wear them and not have people look at me funny when I say I'm not engaged.
I talked to my partner about this, and he says that he would be scared to lose his, so he would prefer to wear it on a chain around his neck. Surprisingly, I had no problems with this. Hell, if he would prefer to tattoo a ring on his finger instead, fine with me.
I think you shouldn't let other people pressure you into something that you don't like. The whole point of a girl getting a really pretty diamond ring is that she is supposed to wear that sucker for the rest of her life, so she better damn well like it! If you don't like your ring, don't wear it often. Maybe pull it out for special occasions? maybe wear it around your neck?
I wouldn't worry about your wife's family being upset if you don't wear it, as long as both you and your wife agree that it's okay. I mean, if you really wanted to cheat, you would find a way - wearing a ring or not isn't going to make a difference.
Overall, marriages are just like any relationship. Society gives us certain guidelines, but those are negotiable between you and your partner. So go negotiate.
Serendipity260 days ago
Answer 5 of 9
To me it's a real simple answer. YES, w...
To me it's a real simple answer. YES, wedding rings are important. I don't care about the whole craziness that has started with the size of the stone and how expensive the ring is. But it does matter to me that we wear wedding rings. It's the only way in our culture to show society that you are taken by someone and you are committed to them. If a person didn't wear their wedding ring, there is no way to show they are married to the naked eye. It's like our way of marking our territory.
scarlettewiththerope260 days ago
Answer 6 of 9
Well, first off, I think any rational ma...
Well, first off, I think any rational mammal would agree that what the media has done to people’s perception of wedding rings and weddings in general is absolutely ridiculous, and women are the primary targets of the media malfunction. So, yeah, even I have to admit that the attitude is more predominant among women than men (you have no idea how much it hurt to admit that just now!) As someone who’s studied advertising a LOT in school, I can tell you that jewelry commercials drive me absolutely insane… nothing sets off a rant on my part faster. I hate them, and I’ll tell anyone who will sit still long enough why (my family has learned it’s better to change the channel when one comes on). Jewelry commercials have made a steady campaign for many years of equating big, expensive jewelry with love, and they’ve done it very, very effectively; it’s really an extraordinary example of the power of advertising. That’s really what the wedding industry is, an attempt to sell the intangible of love. Yay for capitalism! Bah. Anyway, that’s now the mass perception, and it’s up to people on the individual and interpersonal level to either blindly accept what is spoon fed to them by the media, or make an attempt to live their life separate from perceived expectations and instead in tune with a personally defined set of expectations.
For me, although I waffle on how I feel about marriage in general, I do believe in the importance and power of ceremony and symbolism. That’s not to say it has to be a big wedding or a religious wedding or anything like that; I’m just saying that I do believe that proclaiming your love and your intention to tie the rest of your life to someone in a formalized setting with witnesses is something special. There’s a reason it became the cultural fixture it did; the media didn’t do that, this is an absolutely ancient tradition. Personally, if I ever get married, I imagine that it’d probably be in Las Vegas on last minute notice, lol. And that’s just because that’s more my style than some big fancy shindig is. As for the ring thing, I’d like to see something that reflected my and my partners personalities and preferences, because it’s meant to be a powerful, meaningful symbol of this partnership. Again, psychological and sociological power and importance of symbols is something I believe in :) And, I think on the kernel level, that’s what we all recognize and the reason its so easy to buy into the media image of these things, and why it’s so easy to get angry about the absolute sham that this media attention has made the whole thing feel like.
I think you have to decide as a couple what the individual symbols, etc, mean to you. If a guy I was with told me he felt this way, I’d probably try to get to the bottom of it, lol, trying to establish whether or not it was really as simple as thinking a ring was uncomfortable or if it was really more feelings about the media pressure, etc. Personally I CANNOT figure out how a ring (if it fits properly) could be physically uncomfortable, lol, so I’d need that explained to me before I could move on :D After accepting that that’s all it was, though, I’d want to look for an alternative symbol (though I’d miss the cultural recognizability, so I’d hope any guy I was with would only make a stink about it if it really bothered him). Could you wear the ring on a chain around your neck? How do you feel about tattoos, lol? Since I’m in the BDSM community, I know that there’s a huge tradition of collars as symbols of varying degrees of commitment, so I might bring that up (since anyone who I’m spending my life with would be into it too, lol… that’s kinda specific to my life though :D).
Basically, it means whatever it means to the couple. Just remember that meaning is a negotiated thing, so keep your partners feelings in mind, though you definitely have the right to half the negotiated meaning :)
StillFiguringItOut260 days ago
Answer 7 of 9
I was married once before, and purchased...
I was married once before, and purchased the ring for the person, not based on all the guidelines... if the person leads an active lifestyle, work with electricity or machines, etc., they might not want to wear a big fancy ring (or one at all, for safety reasons). One must be wary of any guidelines published by the industry that benefits from them :-)
Personally, I like the symbolism, a sign of my commitment to someone, and it's very well recognized. I usually would say just be yourself, but for something that seems so small, yet so important to others, it seems worth while to just go with it. (Perhaps get the ring re-sized or a different style if it's uncomfortable... it took me a while to get used to mine)
(Can't wait for the women to weigh in here to see their perspectives)
COLTOR260 days ago
Answer 8 of 9
1st: Let's look at what "value" is based...
1st: Let's look at what "value" is based on. Diamonds, gold, precious metals: they're all just shiny rocks. That's it. Seems barbaric and arbitrary to me.
2nd: Supply and demand. Diamonds are actually a lot more common than you'd think. Companies that buy diamonds from mine owners (by the way, there are only a few of these companies) have it in their interest to have the price of diamonds be high. Thus, they hold onto most of the "precious stones" to keep the supply limited, basically letting them charge ridiculous prices. I'd personally rather get a really nice tattoo for a lot less.
3rd: The average cost of a diamond wedding ring is $2000-$4000. You might as well buy something useful with the customary "2-months salary." Now, certainly it is a thing that you can wear to remind you of that special day or that special someone, but if you need a piece of jewelry to remember either, chances are neither is too incredible.
4th: On that note, the average cost for a wedding in 2008 was $21810. Honestly, I'd rather spend that money on actually starting our lives together than some silly ceremony. Sure, spend some to have a buffet for your family and friends at some rented hall, but it seriously isn't that big of a deal. There is no reason to buy/rent ridiculous, uncomfortable clothing, expensive rings, or to put your family through something as stressful as a wedding.
RelaxIt261 days ago
Answer 9 of 9
I think the whole big diamond, expensive...
I think the whole big diamond, expensive ring thing has been blown out of proportion just like everything else. I'm sure a lot of the blame has to do with the media. The same way that stupid show on MTV has ruined the idea of a sweet sixteen party. Women see these insane diamonds on the rich and famous and make it part of their life dream. Maybe not so much in older women but I know a lot of younger women that have a skewed perception on things because of all of the crap they follow in the media.
As far as the tradition of wearing the wedding ring...I like it. I think its like a badge. It says to the world that you are committed to someone and you're proud of it. The tradition is definitely not dying. Instantly people look straight the fingers of men and women to see if they are available. It's almost second nature in our culture.
If you stick to the simple band around the finger with maybe a snazzy gem or two but nothing too insane...then it's good to go.
;swapImages('arrow3218','/images/up-arrow.gif', '/images/down-arrow.gif')){kind=link}
;swapImages('arrow3200','/images/up-arrow.gif', '/images/down-arrow.gif')){kind=link}
;swapImages('arrow3195','/images/up-arrow.gif', '/images/down-arrow.gif')){kind=link}