I saw this on a t-shirt a couple months ago, and automatically wanted it. I can't find a pic of exactly what it looked like, but here is a similar shirt: http://rlv.zcache.com/consent_is_sexy_tshirt-p235915075752680130qik5_210.jpg

I am of the opinion that asking, especially for the first time you are with someone is super cool. I think some people have it in their heads that asking someone for consent or asking someone to use a condom is unsexy, or breaks the mood.

I guess as a woman, consent is super important, and I value being able to give it, and I demand of my partners that they respect if I decide not to give it. I then treat my partners, including male ones, with the same respect and courtesy that I want to be given. So I ask.

The only time I have ever had a weird look was when I was 17 and it was my first time fooling around with a guy that I had just started dating. My hand was about to go south of the border and I asked if it was okay. He laughed, and I asked "what?" and he said "like you have to ask!" and in my head I was thinking "well, of course I have to ask!"

There have been times that I have wanted to go further with people and they have put on the brakes (even guys!) and this is totally cool. Everyone is allowed to have boundaries, and I want every sexual experience with someone to be mutually pleasurable. The best way to do this is to get permission.

Asking for consent can be sexy. It's not like you have to pull out a consent form and get them to sign it! You can say "so, do you want me to go get a condom?" in a deep husky voice. You can say "I want you right here, right now. What do you say?"

And of course, since I've been in my current relationship for almost a year and a half now, asking for consent has turned into a little bit of a joke between my partner and I. His favourite line is "So yeah... you wanna do it?" and mine is a little bit more sarcastic and I say "by the way, we're having sex tonight" which is supposed to be a bit of a joke considering that he knows that I'm very pro-consent. Of course he's allowed to say no, but we know each other, and so the joke is mutually understood.

Overall, consent is sexy. I have never been in a situation where someone was willing to sleep with me, and then not from me asking permission. I have only once had someone even question why I asked permission (and even then, I think it showed the pressures that guys are under to consent to all sexual activity with any person that offers - which just makes consent even more important).

Like the tshirt says - if you can't get her to say yes, you can't get her to say yes Yes OH GOD YES!"