The Ex

Q:

Ladies: How do you feel if your bf won't show pics of his ex-gfs?

Hey everyone,

So me and my gf are having a conversation, cause I didn't want to show pics of my ex gf's when she asked (after I was talking about them and she said 'oh can I see a picture?') She said she and most of her ex bfs would always show pics in this situation, one even had a picture of just his ex-girlfriend on a wall.

Is this normal? Do guys usually show photos of ex-gfs?

keysersoze


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Answers 3 | 1

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singlesuzanne

singlesuzanneover a year ago

Answer 1 of 4

I guess if it was a casual conversation ...

I guess if it was a casual conversation and she asked to see the picture, you might as well just show her. By not showing her, you raise her suspicions. I think it's odd for her to ask, though. I have no desire to know what my bf's ex-gf's look like because then I will compare myself to them to see how I rank, which is just silly and irrelevent.

The other peeps are right - if you show 'em, use a non couple-y pic.

You might consider putting all those ex pics in a box (assuming they are not digital) and keeping it in storage so they're not readily accessible. I do think it's rude to have a pic of your ex on the wall or in a frame when you have a new gf.

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2sweet4u

2sweet4uover a year ago

Answer 2 of 4

Clearly it's your choice not to show her...

Clearly it's your choice not to show her but if you choose not to it's just going to bug her more and more. She'll probably suspect there is some weird reason either with you or your ex that is making you reluctant to show her.

I'm not sure what your reason for being reluctant is although I could imagine several scenarios that would make sense. If your reason has nothing to do with what you're ex looks like (certain race, extremely attractive or not attractive at all, disabled) then I would do what StillFiguringItOut suggests....show her photos of your ex but not the ones of you being all couple-y. The best pictures you could show her are ones that you're not even in. Then she won't have a mental image burned in her mind with the two of you together. I think your best bet is showing her a pic like that rather than nothing at all because it will end the conversation and solve her curiosity.

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StillFiguringasdfaItOut

StillFiguringasdfaItOutover a year ago

Answer 3 of 4

I don't know what's normal, but you were...

I don't know what's normal, but you were already talking about them so I don't think it's unreasonable for her to want to see a picture? But also take the opportunity to explore why she's curious, and why you are reluctant, great opportunities to learn about each other.

Now fwiw, I had already sorted through my photo's and what I had shown her was my more "friend" photo's of my ex, and not the couple-y photo's. I think it's fair for her to see who I've shared my life with up to this point, but I'm not going to subject her (or myself) to the more loving couple photo's which really are out of context at this point... (I'm assuming you've dealt with your feelings around those ex's right ;-) )

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sexpert

sexpertover a year ago

Answer 4 of 4

My partner is still friends with some of...

My partner is still friends with some of his exes on facebook, so if I ask, he pulls out the facebook photos.

My question is why are you uncomfortable showing the pictures? Is there a reason why you aren't showing them? For example, do you not have any pictures of her and your gf doesn't believe you? Or are you worried she might get jealous? Or are you afraid that she might insult your ex, and you don't think that's appropriate?

I've never had a partner refuse to show me pictures of an ex, but then again, there has never been any reason to refuse to show me. I think the question is more, do you have a good reason?

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