http://www.leftos.com/ Leftos is a free service designed to open up communication between Men and Women. Voice your opinion, share an experience, or ask a question and get responses from both Men and Women en-us New Forum Reply - It's the holding in the dancing that can make it sensuous or just very platonic. Even down to the way he holds your right hand when you're "slow dancing". I think it's so much more sensuous when he holds your hand against his chest. I used to dance with someone that extended my right hand out .... there was no closeness and it felt so unconnected. Not sensuous. Very platonic. Not fun.l phoebe Sat, 13 Mar 2010 04:53:53 +0000 http://leftos.com/forum/view/294 http://leftos.com/forum/view/294 New Forum Reply - Okay, i'm kind of a bastard... i had the same situation as u and i choose my ex... but problem come in after we patch back, she confessed to me that she had sex with 2 other guys and i somewhat cannot accept it.. so everytime i'm with her i will think of the past and think of her having sex with another guy.... maybe u should reconsidred after some serious though? on wat reason did she break up with u? will it happen again? and who r u happpier with? ok tats all... hope u make the right decision^^ Deepthinker91 Sat, 13 Mar 2010 01:25:12 +0000 http://leftos.com/forum/view/538 http://leftos.com/forum/view/538 New Forum Reply - Okay, so I'm a girl, but I'm a girl that likes girls, so I will answer this question too. I am assuming that I'm already into the girl that is trying to get my attention, and this is just the thing that puts me over the edge. I love it when a girl is passionate. If you can draw me into a conversation (it can be about anything really) and just make me feel your passion, and make me see the world through your eyes, and make me as excited as you are about something, god I love that feeling. I love how you need to lean closer to the person, I love how the talking gets so excited that you start interrupting each other and talking at the same time. I love how you forget the time, and your face gets flushed, and your heart starts to beat faster, and all I want to do is reach out and kiss this amazing person sitting across from me. Now, if you can't do that, then accidentally touching me with your boob also gets my heart racing. I'm a boob girl, and I am very aware of where all the boobs in the room are at. Can't help it. Just the way my brain is wired (and this is meant with all the respect and dignity in the world for the beautiful and wonderful women who are in possession of those boobs). So if you choose to lean past me and "accidentally" brush your breasts against my arm, or reach across and your breasts just so happen to be right by my face, my mouth goes dry, my heart races, my face flushes, and darn it, if your goal was to get me thinking sexy (but respectful) thoughts of you... your goal is accomplished. Btw, this only works for women. Guys accidentally pressing their package up against me doesn't actually get me all stirred up, unless I've already slept with you. Don't know why, just one of the double standards in our society. I wonder if I should feel guilty about that? sexpert Sat, 13 Mar 2010 01:09:07 +0000 http://leftos.com/forum/view/522 http://leftos.com/forum/view/522 New Forum Reply - I think confidence turns to cockiness when there is an element of disrespect. This can either mean not valuing the girl that you are talking to enough (not focusing enough on her, interrupting her mid-sentence, talking down to her, etc), or it can mean that you are thinking too much of yourself, expecting her to fawn over you when that's really her choice, or pretending that her respect can be bought with flashes of money, or promises of gifts. I really like the other answers that are given, so I won't repeat the advice or thought provoking questions, but I would say that if you are respectful towards women and make them feel like queens in your presence, then you have nothing to be ashamed of, and if any girl takes that the wrong way, her loss. As long as you are proud of what you are doing, and as long as most girls don't feel this way about you, it could just be the random person who is off-put by you. God knows I put off some men, but those aren't the men I like to be around anyway, so I'm fine. I am also proud of my behaviour with men, as I am sure to always be respectful of them, and treat them with dignity. (although if all girls are treating you like you got the plague or something, a reanalysis of your behaviour might be necessary in order to ensure that your well-meaning intentions aren't being misinterpreted). sexpert Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:59:06 +0000 http://leftos.com/forum/view/63 http://leftos.com/forum/view/63 New Forum Reply - Worst thing is when you're trying to talk to someone new and they just are not THERE with you...they're paying attention to the room (bar, restaurant, party), or looking you over more than listening. You can tell when they are really listening. It's in the eyes. convertible Fri, 12 Mar 2010 23:24:26 +0000 http://leftos.com/forum/view/522 http://leftos.com/forum/view/522 New Forum Reply - This happened to me a while back. She was a nice girl, and worse yet, her parents were my former employers when i was younger. So I didn't want to hurt any feelings but I was really not interested. I ended up telling her she seemed to have a great sense of humor and I was wondering if I could give her name to a friend of mine. She took it as a compliment, and backed off from the flirting, and we became friends. It was a white lie, but it worked and nobody was hurt. convertible Fri, 12 Mar 2010 23:11:18 +0000 http://leftos.com/forum/view/604 http://leftos.com/forum/view/604 New Forum Reply - Cocky and confidence have a thin red line separating the two. I definitely disagree with the girls in your example though. Cocky and/or confident have nothing to do with being a player. There's absolutely no correlation. I think you cross from confident into cocky when everything is centered around yourself. I know guys who are extremely confident and because of that, they don't need to talk about themselves. People talk about themselves because they are trying to build themselves up. If you have no need or reason to build yourself up then you're clearly confident in yourself. 2sweet4u Fri, 12 Mar 2010 22:49:25 +0000 http://leftos.com/forum/view/63 http://leftos.com/forum/view/63 New Forum Reply - If she is making you feel uncomfortable, making social situations awkward, or you feel like she's investing too much time/effort in you when you're not interested, then there is a reason to tell her to stop sooner than in other cases. If she is not investing anything in you, you don't think she's overly emotionally attached to you yet, and she isn't making things uncomfortable, the "ignore it till it goes away" approach will work. It's up to you to decide how to tell her to stop, and the intensity her flirting will determine how strongly you have to say no. If she's being really intense, you probably will have to be more intense. That being said, start off subtle, and if she doesn't get the hint, up the intensity a little, until she stops. For not being rude, I think being genuine stops it from being rude. However, it is also important to make an effort to not let things become awkward afterward. If you say "look, you're great, flirting is fun, but you know that we're just friends, right?" she might have her feelings hurt for a moment, it's hard to be rejected, but if you say, "so did you need a refill on your drink?" or say "this is a great song, do you want to go dance?" etc. As a girl, if I was going to be rejected, I would want the person to say "hey, we're never going to be more than friends, but I'm flattered, I want us to be friends, can I get you a beer?" If she reacts badly to that, she's bringing it on herself, and you can't help that she's not mature enough to deal with a polite but firm rejection. sexpert Fri, 12 Mar 2010 22:17:42 +0000 http://leftos.com/forum/view/604 http://leftos.com/forum/view/604 New opinion - This comes from the excellent advice given by adviceguru in this thread: http://www.leftos.com/forum/view/609 Basically, he says to make being shy sexy, rather than assuming that being shy is automatically a turn off. Another example of how this can work: I was talking to a guy, and he had cerebral palsy, which confined him to a wheelchair. We were talking, and he was being flirty, and the topic of sex came up. He made it sound like having sex with someone with CP was the hottest thing ever. He got me curious and interested in wheelchair sex. I asked him if he needed anything special in order to have sex (considering that his lower mobility was restricted) and he said that there were some special toys in his closet, and he would be happy to show them to me anytime I felt like it. We didn't end up having sex because I got into a monogamous relationship, but just thinking about those conversations makes me horny! If you have a quirk, whether it being shy in bed, having to use special equipment in order to have sex, or having kinks/fetishes. Make them sexy! Don't just assume that your partner will find them unattractive. Be confident, make it fun, make it a game between you two. Personally, I have a funny orgasm face. I have had people make fun of me, or stop having sex because they think they're hurting me, etc. So I have to make my funny orgasm face sexy. I have to say "look, I make strange faces when I cum, it's because you're doing your job right, I feel amazing, and you are driving me over the edge and into oblivion. If I make a funny face, keep going, you're doing a good job". I am helping my partner to reshape something not sex (a funny face) and make it into something sex ("yay I'm making her cum! We rock in bed!") You know, just my humble opinion. sexpert Fri, 12 Mar 2010 21:29:53 +0000 http://leftos.com/opinion/view/477 http://leftos.com/opinion/view/477 New Forum Reply - This question is actually key. Are you okay with being shy at first? If you are okay with this, if this is something that you don't feel that you want to change, I would follow adviceguru's advice, which is to turn your shyness into something sexy, seductive, and hot! You are a mysterious woman who will show her tricks when she feels like it. You are a strong woman that will not be rushed. If he wants to see the wild temptress that you can be, then he has to stick around and prove that he's worth it. If being shy is something that you do want to change, then the advice may be a little different. In this case, I would try to find out what makes me comfortable. Am I more comfortable with the lights off? Is it better if we have an hour of foreplay? Is it better if there is talking, or no talking? What can you do to relieve some of the tension you are feeling? When you figure out what works to get yourself relaxed and in the mood, work to ask for that from your partner. Ask if it's okay if the lights are on/off, if there can be music in the background, if he can say anything he wants, just don't make fun of your funny orgasm faces, they are necessary to cum, and if he makes fun of you, you don't do them anymore, which means no cumming, and that won't make either of you happy (okay, that last one is mine, but you get the picture). Being shy in bed doesn't have to mean not being able to ask for what you want/need. Work on getting to know yourself, and then sharing your wants and needs with your partner. sexpert Fri, 12 Mar 2010 21:16:20 +0000 http://leftos.com/forum/view/609 http://leftos.com/forum/view/609 New Forum Reply - I'm not going to lie, no one wants to hear my worst online dating experience because it ended in violence. Oddly enough, even after beating the shit out of me, choking me, and trying to rip out my piercings, he asked for a second date. My approach to dating has definitely changed since then. In terms of just funny stuff, which more people are probably interested in, I've had people share just a little too much information with me right away. I said that I was interested in kinks, and someone contacted me and started talking about how he has a kink where he likes to masturbate with swiss cheese, and he loves it if he can get his female partner can do it for him. I didn't reply because I wasn't sure if it was real or not, but he kept e-mailing me. I blocked him. Another guy tried to say that as someone who was interested in social justice, to say that I was only looking for women at the time was sexist. He called me a sexist bitch for not wanting to talk to him. I will admit that my profile did state that I was only interested in women at that particular point in time, but if there an interesting guy messaged me, I would still at least look at his profile. Being a rude jackass and saying that I'm a sexist bitch doesn't make me want to date you dude. He was just a dumb bum. sexpert Fri, 12 Mar 2010 20:59:05 +0000 http://leftos.com/forum/view/611 http://leftos.com/forum/view/611 New Forum Question - What's the absolute worse experience you had from online dating? Ever meet someone who ended up really really creepy? Or have someone not leave you alone online? 2sweet4u Fri, 12 Mar 2010 19:58:55 +0000 http://leftos.com/forum/view/611 http://leftos.com/forum/view/611 New Forum Reply - I think you really need to talk to her about this. For starters, being in her parents house definitely is playing a role in all of this. I am never comfortable completely letting loose and having sex with my boyfriend while at my parents house. It feels weird and the last thing I want is them walking in on their daughter in some freaky deaky position. I think you need to find out what makes her happy and comfortable. Even if she has a low sex drive, that doesn't mean you guys can't be happy and still satisfy each other. The only way you can solve this is by discussing each others wants and needs and understanding each others comfort levels. 2sweet4u Fri, 12 Mar 2010 19:41:39 +0000 http://leftos.com/forum/view/182 http://leftos.com/forum/view/182