How to let your partner know about your fantasies.

Recently I was reading secrettweet dot com, and I came across this message:

"I want to be blindfolded and tied up during sex.. this still hasn't happened for me but its a fantasy."

I don't know if this anonymous tweeter has a partner or not, but if the former is true than here's how I would drop the hint :

Write down your fantasies, along with about 10 or 20 more that are NOT fantasies of yours, on a piece of paper. Or in this era, have them texted or emailed. Whatever works!

Jumble them up and write them all down in no particular order so your partner won't be able to determine. Then, ask your partner to mark the ones that are acceptable (or cross off the ones that he/she rejects).

Easy! Problem solved.


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ilikethisover a year ago

Woah, this is actually a great idea. I feel like a lot of people are insecure about their fantasies. Something like this would totally alleviate that. If you're in a relationship and are scared about telling your partner your may wanna give this one a try.

Kyle Miracle

Kyle Miracleover a year ago

That is an awesome idea!


PinkRosesover a year ago

Everyone THUMBS THIS UP NOW!!! ...this is genius and a great way to venture into an area you might be scared to go.


DateDailyover a year ago

It's so sad that we can have sex with our partners but cannot discuss sex with them.


sexpertover a year ago

The good part about this idea is that your partner may be interested in some things that you never thought that they would be interested in, and you are both communicating with each other what you want.

The only part that I am worried about is that you Are anticipating that your partner will reject your fantasy ideas, and you are trying to lessen the blow, so that at least if they reject your fantasy, you can pretend that it was never your fantasy in the first place, and it gives you the opportunity to lie to your partner and say "oh, I never would want that, that was one of the"fake" fantasies. It's okay, I'm still normal."

I'm not sure what I would say as an alternative (my posts are too long all the time anyhow), but hopefully, the person that you're with will love and respect you no matter what your sexual desires and fantasies are, and won't make you feel ashamed to be kinky.


DateDailyover a year ago

I think that, unless you want to eat your partner's poo (, most fantasies like the one about being tied up, are pretty run of the mill.

It's when third parties or turds get involved that things might get messy.

Everyone has a little kink in them.


Albedoover a year ago

sexpert makes a great point: what do you do if they don't pick your fantasy? Your fantasies are part of who you are and denying part of yourself in order to not offend your partner is probably not a good idea.

One thing to realize is that some fantasies really should stay that way. Some people won't be able to handle the extra emotional baggage that goes along with adding another partner but that doesn't make thinking about a threesome any less hot.


COLTORover a year ago

This has been done before, but it's great that it's on this site. I'll point you guys to the Sex is Fun Homework page:
where they have the Sexual Interest Inventory. You and your partner go down the list marking the things you'd be willing to do for your partner (or things that you need certain circumstances to do) and then you compare notes. It's a pretty stress-free way to find out if you're thinking the same thing, but just afraid to ask.


howboutyouover a year ago


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