One Night Stands


The mind of a woman during a one night stand?

I've always wondered what goes through the minds of women during a one night stand? Whats the process of determining if you're willing to go home with this guy for some random, no-strings-attached sex?

For guys it's pretty simple, we want to get laid. I know girls are the same to a certain extent but what are the determining factors


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sexpertover a year ago

Answer 1 of 1

Chemistry and Safety

I would say that I rarely go out with the intention of finding a one night stand. I usually go out, and then really click with someone, and we have that chemistry, but for one reason or another, I wouldn't want to date them. So I would say first thing that has to happen is chemistry (whether that be lust, or having a great conversation, or just both being in the right mood at the right time).

The second thing that as a female I must have is safety. Women are raised with the idea that some men are nice, but others want to abuse you, beat you, rape you, kill you, or any combination of the above. Men are sexy, seductive, and intoxicating, but men we don't know are also scary as hell. If I want to have a one night stand, I better have my cell phone and money for a cab, or the person is a friend of a friend that has vouched for them. I need other people to know where I am, and where I'm going.

It's funny because I don't think all of these things go through my mind all that consciously. If I have a bad gut feeling about this person, like they might be dangerous, then I'm not attracted enough to do it. If I don't have a cell phone, then I don't feel safe enough to do it, and would rather do something like give my e-mail so we can set it up for another time. If I don't have the money for a cab, then I say that it would be great, but it would be hard for me to get home, and then give him my e-mail address (in some cases, some women might invite the guy back to her place).

Oddly enough, none of these things go through my mind when having a one night stand with a girl. Just chemistry. Sexist? Maybe, but it's also society. If the news was filled with women raping other women, or assaulting guys then maybe I would fear it more, but I've never experienced it or seen it, so I just don't fear it. society doesn't teach me to fear it.

So in conclusion: if I feel safe and there is chemistry (and also there are condoms around) then I'll go for it. If I feel chemistry, but the situation just isn't right, then I'll give my e-mail address and we can arrange a situation that is right.

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