Sexual Problems

Q:

How long do women want to have sex for?

Sex generally starts and stops depending on the guy....when he gets it up, it starts....when he's finished...well, the sex is finished too. Lasting long enough is always a huge insecurity with guys and causes all kinds of mental stress and sexual problems. I think I read somewhere that the average amount of time people have sex for is about 8 minutes.

I've always wondered though, how long do women want to have sex for?

MC423


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ma4t

ma4tover a year ago

Answer 1 of 11

I have a different take. I don't think i...

I have a different take. I don't think it depends on the guy.

I think it starts when both partners have agreed to have sex and start to touch or kiss.

For me, sex includes mostly oral stimulation of my partner, then a short time of intercourse. Basically, I'm so turned on by turning her on that I don't need much time.

It also does not need to stop when the man is finished. Sex can include more stimulation if my partner did not have an orgasm. Or we can kiss for a long time.

Sometimes, we just kiss and hold each other, with the possibility of more intercourse depending on how it goes.

So for me, there really is no definite start or finish. It builds up and fades out.

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banderas

banderasover a year ago

Answer 2 of 11

as long as it lasts...

as long as it lasts

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sexpert

sexpertover a year ago

Answer 3 of 11

I don't know about you, but I was born w...

I don't know about you, but I was born without the mind reading gene, and I tend to try to avoid situations where I have to mind read.

There are some days when I want a lot of sex, and there are some days when I want a quickie. sometimes I start out thinking all I want is a quickie, but then I get into it, and never want it to stop. Other times, I start to get a headache halfway through and want it to end sooner. So how do I make sure that my guy knows when I've been satisfied? Simple: I tell him.

We'll go at it, and when I've reached the point where I'm all orgasmed out, I say, in a deep, husky, desperate voice "I want you to cum". He knows that I've reached the point where he's done his job and done it well. Of course, he still has the option of making me wait another five or ten minutes before cumming (he's not a gun, and I don't expect him to go off on cue), Still, it's sexy as hell for me to be begging him to cum, and it's sexy as hell for him to know that he's been a good lover, and I'm ready for him to orgasm.

Maybe you could come up with a couple phrases to help communicate during sex. If you want to know if she's satisfied, you could say "think you can take anymore?" and if she says "Oh yeah, give it to me hard!" you know that she's 1)really enjoying it and 2) wants more. You could say something like "where do you want me to cum? Or would you rather I eat you out first?" This is sort of your way of saying that you're getting closer to climax, and she can choose whether to continue with sexual pleasure or not.

Hope these ideas help!

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Princess22

Princess22over a year ago

Answer 4 of 11

ummm...if its good and your doing it wel...

ummm...if its good and your doing it well you have me for 40 min then a break then all nite!!!but if its bad and I couldve had a starbucks coffee and had more fun then ill fake moan and play along for 10 min!!

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sexplorer

sexplorerover a year ago

Answer 5 of 11

I can't stress enough how important comm...

I can't stress enough how important communication is in a relationship. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, is different. Different women want sex to last different lengths of time. The only way to find out what *your* partner wants is to ask.

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Kyle Miracle

Kyle Miracleover a year ago

Answer 6 of 11

For most women, foreplay is as importan...

For most women, foreplay is as important, if not more than actual penetration. Many guys tend to see sex as a means to an end, a climax. This is probably due to the fact that orgasm for us is extremely intense compared to the build up. Where girls get a more consistent pleasure from the whole experience.

Because our bodies are built differently, it can be tough for guys to assimilate to how girls feel pleasure, and vice versa. Being a guy, I have only experienced orgasm from a guy's perspective, and I naturally desire to reach climax as quickly as possible.

HOWEVER, every single time I've focused on foreplay and the pleasure of her, rather than my own, it has been better sex consistently. Better for her, AND better for me. Focusing on her pleasure helps me last longer and enjoy the whole process more, rather than just the last 15 seconds.

So even though actual penetration may only last 20 minutes, the whole experience lasts a minimum of about 40. And the more I care for a girl emotionally, the longer and more pleasurable the sex is for me and for her.

Foreplay is key!


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Black Iris

Black Irisover a year ago

Answer 7 of 11

I think this is one of those things wher...

I think this is one of those things where women vary incredibly in what they want. In addition, the same woman may want different things at different times, depending on how tired she is and her hormones. So don't panic.

Not counting foreplay (which should last longer than she wants):

To me ten minutes is a quickie, but enough. More is better, unless the woman starts to dry out or get too loose. More than half an hour is probably unrealistic most of the time from the point of view of the guy.

Okay, this is not the average, and it's not what guys can always do. Most experts recommend that you do lots of foreplay or even give the woman an orgasm orally or manually before you start intercourse. That way it matters less if intercourse is only a few minutes. If the woman really likes penetration (this varies, too, I believe), you can use your fingers or a toy before you get started to make it last longer.

I have read that if you have more foreplay, the guy will also last longer. I don't quite get why, but it seems to be true.

If you want to last longer, you can also try masturbating earlier in the day. Or you can learn the squeeze technique invented by Masters and Johnson (easy to google). Or you can concentrate on getting in touch with your sensations and learn to slow down and speed up at the appropriate time - Barbara Keesling has written on this, I believe.

I hope this helps and doesn't make you all panic.

Great Answer! (1)

oohlookasquirrel

oohlookasquirrelover a year ago

Answer 8 of 11

Ideally, I'd love foreplay for ages (at ...

Ideally, I'd love foreplay for ages (at least 20 minutes but an entire hour would be wonderful) and then penetrative sex could last for 5-10 minutes. I like to be absolutely aching for it before I actually get any penetration, because then I can get off almost immediately.

But it's a huge bummer for women if it is all about a guy's erection! Sometimes erections come and go, sometimes the guy finishes first and needs to finish the lady off another way, and sometimes he takes so long that the girl has to finish the guy off another way because she's already rubbed raw. Sometimes the guy can come early and then please his partner for awhile and then go back for another round! If a guy's sexual experience ends when he loses his erection, then I feel really sorry for his partner. Couples are not always in sync orgasmically, and if a guy is not flexible about the situation then he's a bad lover, plain and simple.

Great Answer! (2)

Serendipity

Serendipityover a year ago

Answer 9 of 11

20-30 if your taking it slow and pressin...

20-30 if your taking it slow and pressing the right buttons (if it's 30 you better be doing both of those). If you can't last long enough to get me off, you better not role over and fall asleep when youre finished....you still got some work to do buddy boy!

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ilikethis

ilikethisover a year ago

Answer 10 of 11

I think the perfect amount of time is ab...

I think the perfect amount of time is about 20 minutes. Sorry, but to be selfish, I need enough time to try to get off...and if you're a 1, or even a 5 minute man...you're just not cuttin it. On the flip side if your lasting anywhere above 40 minutes then we're running into a whole different set of problems. Sex is great but I don't wanna wake up the next day feeling like my vagina just completed a triathalon. Moral of the story...if you can get to around 20 minutes, you're in good shape.

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DateDaily

DateDailyover a year ago

Answer 11 of 11

The actual penetration should last anywh...

The actual penetration should last anywhere from 7 to 20 minutes.

If you can take things slow and not ram her like the antidote is inside her vagina, most women wouldn't mind it lasting longer.

Foreplay is not part of this, though. Keep that in mind. What you can do to keep yourself from ejaculating too quickly is pulling out and going down on her or even just kissing her.

As well, switch positions every now and then. You don't have to do acrobatics, but go from missionary to lifting one of her legs up onto your shoulder, then both her legs, then go doggy style. Switch it up. This could also help you to keep from ejaculating too quickly.

Don't say I never gave you anything. ;-)

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