Flirting

Q:

How do I know if she's attracted to me?

I always have a hard time picking up signals and hints from girls. I start talking to them when I'm out and the conversation is good. I get them laughing, but then I don't know how to capitalize. I've read all the stupid stuff about them playing with their hair or looking at your lips while you talk...but I still never know.

How do I know if they're attracted and what kind of move I should make?

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sexpert

sexpertover a year ago

Answer 1 of 2

Differs from girl to girl

First of, love the name.

Second, I am horrible at giving signals. I try to be subtle, no one gets the hint, then when I'm more obvious it scares people off. I've never found the happy medium.So whenever you read about signals from girls, remember that these are generalizations, and that each girl will differ slightly. I know I play with my hair a lot just after I cut it or dye it. It has nothing to do with flirting, it's just my hair feels different and I have to touch it. I also put on lip gloss obsessively when I'm nervous. It smells really nice and it's like aroma therapy for me. I can go through half a stick during exam times.

So how does this help you? I can tell you as a person who sucks at flirting and picking up signals, this is what I do. When I feel chemistry with someone, I trust that they are probably (not always) feeling it too. After all, if we are having great conversations, making each other laugh, opening up, and feeling comfortable around each other, that's probably a two way street.

If I have a good gut feeling about it, then I propose something, and give her the chance to make the next move. I say that I'm interested in getting coffee with her sometime, or that she should come to this club on Monday because my friend is playing there, or even just giving her my e-mail (I don't give out phone numbers) and say that she should add me to msn or something. I don't demand an answer at that moment, I just give her my contact information and leave the rest to her. I also don't call it a date, it's just an opportunity to get together again and get to know each other. There is no pressure, no coercion, no guilt tripping, just saying that I'm open to getting to know her better if she's open.

The interesting thing about this move, is that sometimes she will contact me a month or two after the fact. I might not have been amazing enough for her to e-mail me as soon as she got home, but I made enough of an impression that a few weeks/months later, she finds my contact info and says "what the heck" and adds me to msn.

I also find the lack of contact a better rejection than asking a girl to schedule a date with you right there and then and having her say no. Verbal no's suck more than not hearing from the person again. (maybe that's why I like internet dating so much).

But I'm not the best at this so if you see other advice that you like better, feel free to take it. I'm just saying what I'm most comfortable with, and what works best given my personality and confidence levels.

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steveo7

steveo7over a year ago

Answer 2 of 2

Her eyes will tell you everything

In my experience, her eyes will tell you everything you need to know about whether or not she likes you. You have to get good at analyzing movements, nervousness, gazing, etc. and translate that into how she feels towards you. You can also tell a lot about her personality from it too. Let me give you a few examples.

- She's staring straight into your eyes, locked in and not losing eye contact: she likes you. She's giving you her full attention and at the moment you're the only guy in the bar that matters to her. Also tells you she's either a strong, confident type of girl or one that fall's in becomes quickly infatuated with the next guy.

- Her eyes are scanning the room, she's looking everywhere else but at you: When you're talking to a girl that is bouncing her eyes around the room instead of looking at you, it ultimately means one thing...she's not interested. You either are completely boring to her, she doesn't think you're attractive, or she's there for another guy. Either way, move on to the next one. Plus, this girl is more than likely a bitch anyways. If she doesn't have the decency to look at the guy who's talking to her, then she's a waste of time anyways.

- The Shy, Nervous Eyes: This girl is shy, and you're approach is made her nervous...but in a good way. She can't hold eye contact with you very well, but you can tell it's for a different reason than the bitch in the previous example, it's cuz she's shy and she does in fact like you. You're in a good position with a girl like this. By her being so nervous, it takes a lot of the pressure off you and puts you in a position of power. Use it to break the ice and make her feel comfortable.

Aside from those specific cases, try to gauge how much of the conversation she is maintaining eye contact with you. Aside situations like example 3 above, generally the more eye contact, the better. Combine her eye contact with other small gestures she makes (smiles, smurks, posture, hand movements, etc..) and you've got yourself a pretty good picture of whether or not she's into you.

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